Tranquility's Grief Read online

  Tranquility’s Grief

  Krista D. Ball

  Published by Mundania Press

  Also by Krista D. Ball

  Road to Hell

  Tranquility’s Blaze

  www.Mundania.com

  Tranquility’s Grief

  Copyright © 2012 by Krista D. Ball

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  Cover Art © 2012 by Skyla Dawn Cameron

  Edited by Adrienne Jones

  First Edition December 2012

  eBook ISBN: 978-1-60659-353-0

  Trade Paperback ISBN: 978-1-60659-354-7

  Published by:

  Mundania Press

  6457 Glenway Ave., #109

  Cincinnati, OH 45211

  All rights reserved under the International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher, Mundania Press LLC, 6457 Glenway Avenue, #109, Cincinnati, Ohio 45211, [email protected].

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

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  Acknowledgements

  I’d like to extend a special thank you to Jamie who read several painful drafts of this novel. Jacob and Michael – thank you for doing extra chores and for only complaining a little bit. You are two very special boys. To Peter, for making supper, doing laundry, and putting up with me crawling into bed at 4am too many nights to count.

  Prologue

  Four days after the attack on the Temple of Tranquil Mercies.

  Hot pain stirred Sarissa from the brink of darkness. Her body did not move, but the world around her bobbed up and down, side to side. Pain immobilized her. She opened her eyes, heavy and sore. The darkness did not lessen. Too exhausted to care, she closed them once more. A shiver shook her, a new agony. She was so cold. Why?

  “Robert?” A whisper was all she could manage. Her dry lips cracked and split down the center. She didn’t have the strength to lick them. “Robert?”

  Where was that lout?

  “I’m here,” replied his gruff, masculine voice in the distance. So far away. Why wasn’t he next to her? “I’m right here.” A cold hand, calloused from hard labor, slid over hers and squeezed. She could not return the gesture. Too much energy. Too much pain.

  “I can’t see you.”

  “I know. It’ll be all right. Here, drink.”

  One patient drop at a time, water moistened her lips. It seeped between the cracked and angry skin. Icy water hit her teeth, sending another agonizing chill through her bones. She ignored it. She was so thirsty. Greedily, she licked her teeth with her swollen tongue. Then, a moist fabric brushed against her lips and she suckled at the nourishing water.

  Frigid mist sprayed her face. She winced. “What was that?”

  “Just a little sea water.” Warm, dry wool patted her face, scratching her skin. Everything hurt, even the pores on her cheeks. “Malcolm opened the ceiling trap and it let water in. Don’t worry. We have enough fresh water to last us. Don’t you worry about anything. Everything will be fine. I’m here. I’ll look after you, Sarissa.”

  Sea water. Yes, she remembered now. “We sailed away on a ship.”

  “That’s right. As soon as we hit Taftlin, I’ll find a healer for you. I can’t risk landing until we’re well outside of elven land. But I promise, Sarissa. I promise. Soon.”

  “Healer?” Why did she need a healer? Disjointed memories swam in her mind. What was happening? Where was she?

  “Rest. It’s my turn to steer the ship. Just call out if you need anything. There’s four others next to you who can help. It’s all going to work out. Just you wait.”

  She never liked it when Robert was calm. It always meant things were bad.

  Robert’s hand squeezed tighter and tears stung her eyes. “Mark my words, I will make that bitch pay for what she did to you.” His voice turned to a growl. “She just left you there, bleeding. Stepped over your bloody body like you was garage. Fucking whore. I will kill her for that, don’t you worry.”

  Consciousness began to slip. She had been stabbed and burned with Power. Yes, she remembered now. Robert was able to pull her away when Bethany unleashed her Power. He’d poured healing oil into her wounds; a special Magic rendered from the sacrifice of others. That’s why she was still alive.

  Bethany had tried to kill her. Her sister had tried to kill her.

  “Bitch.”

  Existence slipped away.

  Chapter One

  The love of the Creator Gods who made the heavens and saw the end before the beginning will be with Her. Our trust is in Her. She will bring the Viper to its knees. She will give her life to overcome. She will not waiver. She will not falter. Our faith is in Her.

  -Prophecy of the Diamond, First Tablet

  Bethany stared up at the predawn sky and wondered if she possessed enough Power to make it fall and crush her to death. After saluting the etching of male genitals that graced the outhouse’s walls, she tipped back her bottle of best brandy—her last bottle, at that—and filled her mouth with the gut-warming liquid. It stung going down and her empty stomach protested, but liquor should always hurt before dawn.

  The sun had yet to break the horizon, but Bethany could hear the low voices and footsteps of the early risers beyond the outhouse walls. Normally, four ratty planks, a ditch, and a splinter-laden seat did not classify as an outhouse. Considering the complete ruin of the temple’s courtyard around her, it was as good as it got these days.

  “I think she’s in that one,” a feminine voice said in a hushed tone. Boots scuffed against the pebbled ground just beyond Bethany’s haven.

  Bethany gulped down another swig. She grimaced, but at least the brandy fought off the early autumn chill.

  They were looking for her. Again. She longed for her old room, atop the massive temple. The spacious airiness of it, the balcony, the bolts on the door. Her room now sat at the bottom of the ocean, along with a good portion of the once magnificent Temple of Tranquil Mercies. War had been declared and it had not been kind to the elves.

  Nor to the humans under their protection.

  Under her protection.

  She turned her focus back to her brandy, inhaling the fumes in hopes of chasing away the stench of the toilet ditch beneath her. Between the reek of feces, sweat, and illness, Bethany wondered how she managed to keep the alcoho
l down. She was only elorian. Half-blood. Half-breed. She could not imagine how the elves were holding up in this cesspit. Magic had turned her home, the home of thousands, into a festering sewer.

  Magic.

  Just the thought of it made her temper flair and her skin crawl. She took another swig and her throat burned.

  Excited whispers came from directly outside of the walls now. Fabric rustled. More footsteps approached.

  Bethany could imagine someone pointing at the outhouse door, trembling in fear to knock. A moment later, the expected timid knock came. “Lady Bethany?” a young, feminine voice asked hesitantly, “Is that you?”

  Bethany had no intention of responding. Her thoughts were bleaker than usual and she needed the quiet privacy the outhouse offered, even if the stench churned her guts. With the destruction of both her home and her life, she didn’t have anything left inside to give to others, not even the dignity of responding to their questions.

  “Lady Bethany?” The knock came again, stronger this time. A moment later, the voice attempted to whisper, “Are you sure she’s in there?”

  Bethany couldn’t hear the answer, but the knocker’s voice came back clear and alarmed. “She’d eat me alive.”

  Bethany snorted. At least, someone still feared the Lady Champion’s wrath. She who’d bloodied the noses of would-be princes. She who’d stood against attackers and foes her entire adult life. She who’d stood against a tide of Magi and turned them to cinders.

  She cringed. These people all feared her now, more than ever. They feared her in a primal way that shook their bones and gave them nightmares. That’s why she hid in the senior Knights’ outhouse. While it had been her sister, Sarissa, who’d brought the Temple of Tranquil Mercies to its knees, it had been Bethany alone who had brought the army of Magi to its end. It was her who made the choice. It was all her.

  Bethany’s hands shook, the alcohol splashing inside its glass walls. She glanced down at her trembling hands, unable to shake the memories of the past. Though now completely healed, all she could see were hands of ragged meat from plunging two swords into the very heart of her sister. And though she’d drawn Power, pure from the Goddess herself, from the very earth to heal herself, by saving the lives of those she was sworn to protect, she had destroyed her own. She had crushed her own life.

  And still worse, she’d not done it soon enough. Thousands were dead. Because of her. Because she failed to be the Champion. Because she had been a coward.

  Another tremble shook her and it was not from the lack of warm clothing or the crisp morning air. Months of replaying it in her mind left her with one unwavering truth. She had murdered her sister and she would have done it again and again, and done it gladly, and done it twice as fast if given another chance.

  “Pull it together, Bethany,” she snarled.

  She regretted speaking aloud immediately. There was another set of whispers before the voice came again, still hesitant. “Lady Bethany? Um, I’m sorry to bother you, but you have visitors. Also, Lord Allric requires your presence.”

  Bethany sucked in a deep breath as the light rapping on the door continued. She stifled a choke. The air stank. She didn’t recognize the girl’s voice but supposed it belonged to one of the Honored Sisters that followed her around like a herd of lost puppies. No, that was too cute and sweet of a description for them. Puppies she liked.

  She took another drink, her stomach souring in protest. “Can’t a knight take a piss in peace?”

  “No,” replied a different woman. Bethany recognized the stern voice, one husky and rough from centuries of use. She pinched the bridge of her nose. As if the day wasn’t bad enough.

  “As well, please refrain from being vulgar.”

  “Sorry, Aneese,” Bethany replied automatically. Decades of dealing with the High Priestess did that to a person. To Aneese, it was life as normal with no special allowances to be made, not even for the Silver Knights’ third in command, who, really, just wanted to get piss drunk and never sober up again.

  Bethany looked back up at the dark sky. It had stopped raining a few hours before and, while everyone and everything were still soaked to the core, at least they’d have a chance to dry out. She’d ask someone to re-roof the outhouses, but it would only get stripped off again for firewood. Some of the main floor of the temple would be safe enough for occupation by the spring. She could wait for indoor plumping and roofs until then.

  “Remove yourself from the outhouse,” Aneese said in her usual brisk tone. “Please.”

  “Go away,” Bethany choked out, tears stinging her sleep-deprived eyes. Aching grief and unrelenting failure smothered her.

  They were all gone. Dead, because of her. Because she failed to protect them.

  Her hands trembled again and she clamped her eyes shut to stop the vision of bloody mud seeping underneath the outhouse’s door.

  “Lady Champion Bethany, if you do not come out here, I will set this structure on fire.” Aneese pounded on the door, solid and confident pounding, unlike the timid girl’s rapping. The structure shook and groaned in protest.

  A bitter laugh escaped her. “You would never kill the eldest daughter of the Gentle Goddess, Apexia, mother of all, and all that shit.” Bethany drunkenly waved, though no one could see her.

  “Mandy, bring me a tinder box.”

  Bethany made no effort to move. A bundle of tinder appeared under the door. She eyed it. Aneese wouldn’t really set the outhouse on fire, would she?

  “Aneese?”

  Flint struck against stone.

  “Apexia’s tits! You’ve made your point.” Bethany took a deep breath, a long swig, and then another of both. Today wasn’t the best day to collapse the sky. She did have a war to plan, not that they were doing anything beyond sitting on their collective elven asses. “I’d have more privacy on a battlefield than here.”

  Bethany stood a little too fast. The world spun and she swallowed hard against the rising bile. She unlatched the door and pushed it open, the structure wobbling. Or, perhaps it was her that wobbled. Or, more likely, both.

  She stared at the medium-height elf, plump and grey in her old age, a small lantern dangling from a hook on her cane. A human boy, perhaps thirteen, and wrapped in a blanket, stood just behind Aneese, also carrying a lantern and poised to catch the crippled elf if she stumbled.

  Bethany glared at her. “What do you want?”

  Aneese raised her chin and sniffed the air dramatically. She scowled. “I want the smell of liquor to be undetectable on your breath, but I suppose that will be unlikely any time soon. You have visitors and Lord Allric requests our immediate presence.”

  “Hi, Bethany!”

  Every muscle in Bethany’s body clenched. She turned, slowly, toward the exuberant voice near the side of the outhouse. Standing in the midst of the destruction and death was her youngest sister, Lendra. The warm glow of the young woman’s face, her wide grin and emphatic waving, made Bethany feel her own grief all the more.

  Guilt crushed Bethany’s soul. How could she tell her little sister that their family was one less? How could the little one trust her again?

  If having Lendra arrive wasn’t torture enough, standing next to her was Drea. Bethany’s middle sister looked frail and sickly. Drea’s skin was more sallow than just plain pale, but she had looked that way for years now. Another one of Bethany’s failures, alive and on display for the world to witness.

  She gulped hard to prevent herself from spewing the churning alcohol on the ground. She regretted the amount of brandy she drank. This would require a clear, calm head: something she didn’t possess even while sober.

  “Well? Aren’t you going to say something?” Lendra demanded, though her voice bubbled with mirth.

  Bethany just stared at the girls. No, not girls anymore; they had grown into women since she’d seen them last, nine years ago. It had been at least three years since Bethany’d written her last letter to them. If she didn’t know what to say in letters, she c
ertainly didn’t know what to say in person.

  “What are you doing here? Who let you come?” She raised a hand. “Never mind, I don’t care. Aneese, have one of your servants get them back on whatever ship they arrived on. I want them gone, now.”

  Lendra frowned and reached into the purse that hung her from her wrist. She pulled out two coins and handed them to Drea. Both girls turned their big, round eyes to her.

  The world spun a little. Definitely too much brandy.

  Bethany folded her arms and asked, “Aren’t you a little young to be gambling, Lendra?” She returned their stares before letting out a sigh. “Oh, what’s the point?”

  Lendra grinned and ran to Bethany, embracing her tightly. “I’m so happy to see you! Don’t you just love surprises!”

  She had to lean back to avoid a mouthful of Lendra’s straw-colored, bouncy curls. Lendra clamped on to Bethany like an overboard sailor grasping driftwood. With one hand, Bethany gingerly tapped her sister’s back and struggled to keep upright.

  “All right, all right, that’s enough.”

  Lendra pulled back and gave Bethany a toothy grin. A fierce jolt of primal protectiveness surged through her. This was the only sister left she had not failed. Lendra had to go back home. It was the only way Bethany could not hurt her.

  Drea and Bethany exchanged muted inclines of their heads, the most affection they’d shown since Bethany had dragged Drea’s naked, bleeding body from a prison too long ago.

  “What have you done to your hair?” Lendra exclaimed, reaching out to Bethany’s near-shorn head. “It’s missing!”

  Bethany ran her hand self-consciously over the prickly bristles that jutted from her scalp. Her heart pounded, thinking of standing in the courtyard, cutting out her own hair. Grieving her sister, grieving the temple...grieving the loss of her lover.