Tranquility's Grief Read online

  “You are making it far too simple. Bethany and I have not been close –”

  “Since you scolded her for doing her duty. Don’t act like I don’t know these things, Allric,” Amber said, heat in her voice. “It’s a small temple and Jovan gossips worse than a woman. You punished her for taking my side. It is time to step beyond the past. You are not just her commander. You are her friend.”

  Allric took a long breath in and held it for a moment before blowing it out. Amber struggled to keep control on her own limited Power and not read his thoughts. It was difficult around Allric because she cared about him so much. Her own emotions wanted her to dig around in his mind and see what was there.

  However, there was no need to mind-read him. The change in expression was enough for her. His features softened and a faint smile touched his lips. “You are a difficult woman to say no to, Amber.”

  “Thank you,” she said, her muscles unclenching. She had not created a rift after all.

  He scratched at his beard and she looked away. Amber released her hand from him and stepped away, the sick feeling welling up in her throat. He is not that man. He is not that man. It is just a beard.

  She blinked back the tears forming in her eyes. Allric is not that man.

  “Amber,” Allric began, his voice soft and pensive, “tell me.”

  Honesty was always the best practice, or so the wisewomen said. She just feared how much it would hurt her to speak it aloud. Yet, if she loved him, she had to say it. So, she pushed the words out. “Your beard.”

  He ran his fingers through it, concerned. “Is there something in it?”

  Amber looked away as a lump formed in her throat. “The memory of the man who raped me.” She didn’t choke on the word rape this time. It meant she was healing. Perhaps soon, bearded men would cease to remind her of it. Thank you Rygous for the strength to overcome. Thank you for loosening the past’s grip so that I can live in the present.

  Allric was silent for a moment. Then, he said, “I cannot control where I am sent, or who they force me to marry.” He cupped her face in his hands. She shivered. “I will see to it that you will always be able to look me in the eyes.”

  And then Allric, Lord Defender, leader of the Elven Service, gruff and huge and handsome with his notched ear tip and scarred body, kissed her mouth.

  Amber’s stomach muscles fluttered and clenched, and her eyes welled with tears. Excitement warred against the anxiety and filled her with strength as she returned the kiss of the one she loved.

  Allric did not linger, nor lose himself in passion. He pulled away and ran a finger across her lips. “Was I wrong to do that?”

  It was Amber’s turn to reply. She cupped her hands over his and whispered, “It was the perfect gesture.”

  “Good.” She smiled. Yes, he did care for her. She didn’t even need to read his mind to see that.

  A coy little smile spread across his face and the worries of the day seemed to fade away. “My mirrors are buried under granite. It has been difficult to shave.”

  She didn’t care that she blushed. For all of his gruff ways, she knew Allric was a soft, kind man inside his heart. She’d never say that to him, of course, but knowing it hid inside him was enough for her.

  “I’d love to help.”

  Chapter Five

  Her pain will bleed into their hearts. None will escape the Diamond’s agony.

  -Aleu’s “The Agony of the Diamond”

  It took three hours, but Allric eventually made his way to join Bethany. She knew he’d come. At least the separation had given her wounded pride a chance to heal and her resolve to harden. She would not step down. She’d suffered enough for being the daughter of Apexia. No one would take away the only thing that kept her drawing breath.

  No one.

  Bethany ignored Allric, who perched himself on top of the massive pile of stone and marble that littered the shoreline. The great Temple of Tranquil Mercies had drowned in the sea; her bleached stone nothing more than the bones of her corpse. Bethany had always loved the Temple and how it was built into a tiny mountain island, connected by a manmade causeway of stone, marble, and dirt.

  Now, three of its five glorious, hand-carved towers lay crumbled at her feet.

  Like all of the temple residents and Orchard Park survivors, she combed the shoreline in her off hours, scavenging for materials. Not for herself - like most elves and many elorians, she did not need gold - but rather for the general material needs of the temple and its residents. All the elven gold in the world could not buy what did not exist. With the chilly air and the promise of a spring invasion north, any materials found now allowed for gold to purchase other items later.

  Besides, she found the scavenging comforting. With every tide, with every boulder removed, those still living could reclaim a little more of the shattered pieces of their lives.

  Not her, though. Jud could not understand that because he had no concept of what she’d lost. Arrago would have understood.

  Bethany sucked in a deep breath of the cold, salty air. No amount of liquor could cure her of that man’s memory...and the wrenching pain it caused her.

  “It is unfortunate we cannot get the oxen down here,” Allric shouted over the rhythmic crashing of waves against the boulder field.

  Bethany looked over her shoulder at him and watched him nimbly scramble over the rocks to join her, too easily for a man his size. She didn’t answer him immediately. The engineers were correct in wanting to focus on the still-standing towers first. Once those were habitable again, the remaining cleanup could happen.

  “I hate the litter,” she said absently, pulling a waterlogged brown tunic from under a pile of small rocks. She held it up to inspect it. No holes. She folded it and tossed it into a pile of fabric. It landed with a splat. “I want the docks back.”

  “Can’t have docks when there’s half a mountain in the way,” Allric said.

  A glint of metal caught her eye and she saw a glimpse of a sword underneath a large boulder. She pushed the rock, but it wouldn’t budge. She tried wiggling the sword, but it didn’t move either. No way would she ask Allric for help, not now, not with him here to convince her to give up her position. So, she planted her back firmly against the boulder and started pushing with her legs, using her hands to support both the rock and herself, in case she started to slide.

  Allric scrambled down the rocks and joined her and, with a grunt of effort, he pushed against the boulder. It protested but eventually moved enough that Bethany could retrieve the sword underneath.

  Allric took it from her. He waved the sword in the air, seaweed still twisted around it. It was a little tarnished and chipped, but still worth keeping. Slime shimmered in the light. “Just needs a good buff,” he said, tossing it into a pile of similar swords a few steps away.

  She brushed the gritty mud from her hands. “I won’t step down.” The wind ripped at her, tugging at her trousers and threatening to snap her like a twig. It was in the wind that she always noticed her thinning frame; the wind seemed to howl through her these days.

  He met her gaze. “I am not here to ask you to.”

  Tension released from her and she let out a breath.

  “You must not blame Jud. He is their favorite. He has been a soldier for over three centuries and has never fought in any conflict. Why they would send someone like him to replace me...” Allric pursed his lips. “Well, I know why, but that is beside the point.”

  Bethany crossed her arms. “Then what is the point?”

  “Torius and Aneese talked Jud into letting you remain.”

  She exhaled, as though she’d been holding her breath. Then, she gave him a half-hearted grin. “I’m disappointed. I wanted to stab him a few times.”

  Allric looked down at his hands. “I am sorry for all of this.”

  Bethany looked away and stared at the piles of debris she’d separated. So much had been destroyed. She glanced at Allric, her life-long friend. Mentor. Hero. Eventually,
they’d recover. They would carry on. So would she.

  “You don’t need to apologize,” she said finally, looking back at him. “It wasn’t your fault. I’m going to miss you.” Her voice cracked and she coughed, clearing her throat. “Chances are poor Jud won’t make it a month with that mouth on him. I’ll start a betting pool. There hasn’t been one since...Sarissa, you know. It’s time we start gambling again.”

  Allric laughed, a deep belly laugh. “Promise me you will go easy on him. He is an idiot, but with some exposure, he might come to some use. Let him make a few harmless mistakes.” The smile faded from his face. “Do not let him put anyone’s life in danger.”

  Bethany nodded. “I won’t. I don’t fear the Elven Council. If there is one benefit to all this, it’s that.”

  “They will try to stop you.”

  “They’ll fail,” she said with a shrug. “It isn’t like they’ll send me to the gold mines.”

  “I suppose not.” He motioned. “Come. Jud wants to apologize. After which, you will apologize for threatening to kill him.”

  Bethany scowled at him.

  “That was an order, Lady Bethany.” Though the words were firm, leaving no room for negotiation, his mouth curled into a faint smile.

  She rolled her eyes. “The tide’s coming in any case. Best I get out before I’m swimming.” She motioned at his bare face. “I see you took my advice and shaved.”

  Allric reddened. Why would he blush over a stupid beard? It was probably just the wind.

  She stepped up to scramble over the rocks when Allric turned to her, silent but looked as though there was more to say. He stared at her for a moment, rubbing the missing tip of his ear.

  “I...I did not handle the Amber situation well.”

  Of all the things she expected to hear from Allric at that moment, or ever, that was at the bottom of the list. She cocked an eyebrow to give the illusion of calm, though her heart pounded in her chest. Things had not been the same between them since Allric called her a murderer of children. She’d just returned from having found an orphanage massacred, only to have Allric accuse her of killing Amber’s unborn child.

  He licked his lips. “I understand why you took Amber to the midwife that night.”

  “I took her because she asked.”

  “I know. Sarissa had Amber raped for some Magic rite. You were only doing your duty. I see that now.”

  “Amber made you say this, didn’t she?”

  “Yes.” A faint chuckle laced his answer. “I never realized a woman would choose to end the life of her own child. I thought you and Eve bullied her into it. I know better now. Amber says she has never regretted her decision.”

  She snapped her head to meet his gaze, her words hard. “I do not regret mine for helping her.” Then, Bethany caught hold of her anger and said, her tone growing softer, “I regret what it did to us.”

  He held out his hand. “I am sorry, Bethany.”

  She took it, and they shared a smile. Then, he turned and began scrambling over the rocks and boulders of marble.

  Bethany stood, paralyzed. In three months, this was the first time anyone had talked to her like how it used to be. Tears welled up in her eyes and cleared her throat, forcing the emotions down as deep as she could.

  “Time to break in a new commander,” Bethany said, frowning. Yet, inside, hope grew and made her smile.

  Chapter Six

  We the Creator Gods, We who dreamed life into the world, We who exist outside of time and breath, rejoice in the Diamond. It is through her strength that the Viper will be crushed by the might of her Power.

  -Prophecy of the Diamond, First Tablet

  As ordered, Bethany apologized for overreacting. She did not apologize for spitting on Jud, nor did she withdraw death as a requirement for leaving her command position. Jud, no doubt ordered by Torius, apologized for attempting to arrest her. He did not apologize for saying she’d caused the deaths of thousands.

  All in all, Bethany felt it was one of her best apologies. She wasn’t even passive aggressive. She’d impressed herself.

  “Now what?” Bethany asked. She leaned her back against the temple, on the secluded north side, with Kiner and Jovan flanking her. Cold seeped through both the stone boulders underneath her and the walls she leaned against. She pulled her grey cloak tighter around her.

  Kiner took a long drink of the steamy broth in his wooden mug. He grimaced. “I would guess Allric will stay on until the Council tells Father Torius to send him back to Wyllow.”

  “The windbags won’t let Allric stay. They probably used Allric’s marriage as a way to get Jud away from them,” Jovan said. He sipped his broth and growled, “Apexia’s whoring ass, that is disgusting.”

  Bethany finished her own cup of foul broth. Black, chewy bits floated in it. Neither of the Tranquility Trio knew what it was, nor did any of the three old friends ask. She listened to Jovan chatter, and Kiner’s grunts of acceptance and refusal. The brandy had more or less left her system, leaving her with an upset stomach and a pounding headache.

  At least, it was cloudy. The sun didn’t hurt her eyes as much.

  “Well, well, well,” said a familiar, sultry voice. Bethany snapped her head to find Eve leaning against the temple, her arms folded. White swirls shown on her forearm, poking out from underneath her ill-fitting jacket. A wide grin spread across the dark woman’s face. “I go away for a month and I find the three of you sitting around while the rest of us work.”

  Eve hadn’t finished speaking before Jovan was on his feet, rushing her. Her voice, full of mirth and warmth, laughed as Jovan swept her up in his arms, kissing her mouth firmly, holding her head with his hands.

  “All right, all right,” Bethany said, coming to her feet. “No one wants to see that.” The memory of Arrago’s lips against hers seeped through her barriers, but she pushed it back. The relief of seeing Eve made it easy enough. “We were getting worried about you.”

  Kiner nodded. “You’re three days overdue.”

  Eve’s smile faded and she dropped her arms from around Jovan’s waist. Jovan did not release her. Instead, he pulled her closer. He kissed her tangled, dark hair. “What happened?”

  “My scouting group got word that eighteen Magi came through Little Bheakom. Took us nearly a week to catch them and another week to run from them. We got them, though.” She licked her lips. “We lost four Knights, fifteen regulars, and about twenty conscripts.”

  Bethany swore. Knights were not in unlimited supply. “It’s good to see you made it back, Eve.”

  “So...” Eve’s smile returned and she gave the trio a piercing glance. “An interesting thing happened on the way to the temple. A stuffy elf called Jud said he was my commander and gave me new orders before I could even clean up.”

  Jovan growled. “Elven political shit.”

  “Ah,” Eve said, “that explains why the three of you are hiding.”

  “We’re not hiding,” Kiner corrected.

  Bethany shrugged and said, “I’m not due on patrol until this evening.”

  “I’m about to leave on an extended holiday,” Jovan drawled.

  “The only place I want to go is north,” Kiner said. He and Bethany clinked mugs, the wood producing more of a clump than a clink.

  Jovan looked over his shoulder and whispered, loud enough for everyone to hear, “For Apexia’s sake, Drea is walking this way. Bethany, can’t you send her away?”

  Bethany opened her mouth to speak, but Eve cut her off. “About that...”

  “I don’t know why they are still here,” Jovan continued. “I moved to the temple to avoid ever seeing her again. She is why my parents moved to Ellentop because I wouldn’t visit them in Wyllow.”

  Bethany gave Jovan a pointed stare and whispered, “Shut up.”

  Drea and Lendra approached them. Lendra began her usual enthusiastic waving as soon as they made eye contact with her. Drea, of course, remained stoic and statuesque.

  “There you are
,” Drea stated, her voice flat. “Lady Eve, it is your assignment to stay with us and protect us. You are not to wander off.”

  Eve closed her eyes for a moment and recollected herself. “What are you talking about?”

  “Lady Eve is our nanny,” Lendra said and gave Kiner a coy smile. He gave her a sharp glare before looking away. Lendra’s expression became crestfallen.

  Save me from youthful stupidity.

  Bethany made a mental reminder to speak to Lendra about Kiner and how she needed to turn her eyes elsewhere. Perhaps needlework.

  “Nanny?” Jovan asked, staring at Eve and back at Lendra. “Says who?”

  “Lord Jud,” Drea said, her tone impatient, “assigned your whore to our personal protection.”

  “Drea!” Bethany shouted, as Jovan shouted for her to shut up, as Lendra jabbed her elbow into Drea’s ribs to silence her.

  Drea shrugged her shoulder, an unenthusiastic gesture. “Lady Eve ran a brothel. She warms Jovan’s bed outside of a sanctioned union. I believe whore is the appropriate term.”

  Eve lifted her chin and, though her dark eyes raged, her voice only had the edge of anger. “I wanted to speak to my friends, Miss Drea. I just spent a month chasing Magi. I apologize for making you feel abandoned and unprotected. “

  Drea looked away, as if failing to hear Eve.

  “Bethany,” Lendra said in a strained voice, “Lord Jud said we can all go to Orchard Park. That’s why we came to get Lady Eve. She was supposed to tell you.”

  Eve sighed. “I was about to tell them, Miss Lendra.”

  “Oh, I know. I didn’t want you to get into trouble, that’s all,” Lendra clarified cheerfully. She looked at Bethany and said, “Lord Jud says we are supposed to go right away.”

  Bethany opened her mouth but no words came. What was Jud thinking? Orchard Park was little more than a tinder box still. They still found vagrants and wanted criminals, and even the occasional Magi hiding in the city’s ruins. It wasn’t safe for the daughters of Apexia. The untrained ones, at least. She didn’t count.